How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
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