Have you finally orgasmed yet?
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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