end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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