Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
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