Already got asked if we're dating
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
