is your mom at the bar?
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Randomize
