Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
