I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Randomize
