Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
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