He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
She has the best kind of daddy issues
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
