Do you still have your period?
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize