we're blogging at a bar
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
