what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Randomize
