She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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