I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
