just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
I'm always down for nudity.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
