yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
