3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
