her vagine was all disorganized.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
i think my cat just said my name.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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