I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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