theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
