there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
