I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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