He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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