I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
