I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I don't deserve a penis
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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