thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
