oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I came so hard my ears popped.
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