I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize