wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize