I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
