sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Randomize
