yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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