yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize