Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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