I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
