he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
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