We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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