I hate your face
its not stalking. its research.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
