i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
did you just send me my own nude
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
