Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
