I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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