wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
