I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
