I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
