yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize