He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
