I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
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