That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
