i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
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