I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
FUCK WHALES
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
