theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize