I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
