Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I CAN MOONWALK!
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Randomize
