talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
