I should be sponsored by Trojan
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
