You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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